


Raid on Area 51

by Zainax



Category: Original Work
Genre: Aliens, Kyles, Uuummm, Violence, Weebs, area 51, ayy lmao, bathsalt snorters, chads, crackheads, dont know how to tag, its a dumb fanfic, monsterfuckers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-18
Updated: 2019-07-18
Packaged: 2020-06-30 11:32:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19852303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zainax/pseuds/Zainax
Summary: Just a dumb fanfic my one brain cell ghost wrote. Probably dumber than the other things I've written.





	Raid on Area 51

It is September now, only 20 more days ‘til we’re all supposed to raid Area 51. Over 2 million worldwide at least have joined, and plan to go. Originally, this was all just one big joke, but now since then, many people have gathered together to make this plan real. The leaders, the ones who are all supposed to lead different parts of the raid have advised us all not to talk of our real intentions in the Facebook group, as that would expose us, so we just continued to make absurd memes and joke around instead, so the government doesn’t start taking us seriously again, like they did in July. In August, the media and government stopped paying any attention to us, as we started sounding so stupid, that we were successful in getting the gov. to believe this was all just a dumb joke. The fools don’t know what is about to go down, nor that we have one of their own working on our side as a spy.  
Our spy is a worker who has full access to the area, and has stated that he’s longingly been waiting for someone to come help. Not only because of his sympathy for the many extraterrestrial beings whom have had to undergo horrible experiments while under captivity, but because the workers themselves are also treated horribly. Many of the workers want to go against the gov. but they know they’ll just be put through a fate worse than death with all the weapons they’ve had to use on a few unfortunate aliens.  
All of us participating in the raid, bought a vpn and moved to another site where we could talk about our plans without worrying about someone watching us.  
For the past few months many of us have worked on getting our bodies in shape so we don’t immediately get murked.  
Many of us are now ripped, or close to it, the chads and kyles are absolute units, and the Florida men are now close to god status. Even a few of the crackheads are buff and we got some bath salt snorters ready to make their sacrifice. We surely must be unstoppable now.  
For the past 2 months I’ve also been training heavily, my daily routine has included 100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, 100 squats and a 10k run. I can feel the power flowing through me.  
September 10th  
It was 10 days before the raid. We were finally joining the groups we were part of, I was part of the Weebs group, as it was one of the only groups I was formerly actively a part of. My friends were in different groups, so I was alone with the weebs. While we all situated ourselves in our groups, the leaders of each one and the workers joined into a voice call, to have a discussion and confirm the plans. We would arrive at Area 51 after 3am, and the workers with the night shift will be waiting for us there with the best weapons for our troops in crates.  
There was a problem though, there were at least 3 different groups that had yet to even show up or let us know who they are, but oh well, maybe they decided not to come afterall….  
September 16th  
Many have informed us that they were on their way to Nevada, and if they got there a few days earlier than intended, they’d be hanging out in a hotel.  
September 17th  
Some people arrived there from their state or country, and many more were packing up to leave too. My friends and I should also get going, since we’re going by car after all…  
My friends arrived later in the evening and were waiting in my yard, they were in a large car that would fit many people, they said on the way there we would be picking up many people that need a ride to go where we’re going.  
September 19th  
It was kinda chaotic, but the people we picked were cool, nice, but pretty fucking wild. We’re in Nevada now, but we gotta find a Hotel for all of us to rest until night time. While in the hotel, I found some of my fellow weebs, that was kinda cool. I found some Swifties heading there with us too,....I guess they’re okay with being used as human shields. Late in the evening many of us confirmed we were somewhere in Nevada, many people were forced not to go or found they had an insufficient amount of money to come from where they were to here, or they were still in the airports. We still had over 1 mil people at least that are here…  
September 20th, midnight  
We got the message. We began to head out, the workers confirmed with the leaders that they were at the gates waiting for them, however, something felt off….  
We arrived there at 3am, just before we had full vision of Area 51, we were ordered through our walkie talkies, to get out of our vehicles and begin walking.  
From all around me, I heard Monster cans opening, when we got closer the Kyles and Chads started chugging them, and I heard bags rattling in the hands of crackheads and bath salt snorters. We got closer only to see, the workers who were on our side were being held captive by security guards. One of them mouthed that they were sorry before the security guard proceeded to gut him like a fish in front of our very eyes, screams of agony filling our ears. Some of the Karens screamed then passed out. Not a second later the leader from the Furries side made the call through walkie talkie commanding, “GET THEM”  
Everyone went feral.  
Some people were throwing bombs that destroyed the gates. Where the fuck did they even get bombs from?  
The Chads and Kyles were breaking people in half. Our enemies were dropping left and right when suddenly-  
Blamblamblamblamblam  
Many of our own troops were starting to drop like flies, even the people that made it inside each of the Area 51 buildings. Were there automatic weapons enable in the buildings?  
‘I need to power them off’ I thought, rushing inside what one of the workers said was the main building to see who was in control and if I could get them to turn it off.  
After a few minutes of trying to find my way around in the maze-like building. I found a room with someone in it, he was yelling “OH SHIT!! IM ON A ROLL WITH THESE HEAD SHOTS HAHA”  
I quickly made my way inside, grabbing him by the throat before he could process what just happened to him.  
“Turn them off”, I growled.  
“What? No! Let go of me you bitch!”, the stubborn man yelled.  
“I SWEAR TO GOD JERRY, IF YOU DON’T FUCKING TURN THEM OFF NOW. I”M GONNA RIP YOUR THROAT APART!”, I yelled.  
Jerry fucking wet himself like a fucking coward before doing as I said after I let go of him. After that he tried to escape and call back up, which led me to no choice but do it to him. “Omae wa mo shindeiru”, I stated as I quickly teleported in front of, and punched a hole right through him.  
“W-what?”, Jerry said as he keeled over with a final breath after realizing his dire mistake.  
"Pathetic”, I simply stated before walking off. Now that the automatic machines weren’t going anymore due to that sadistic freak, me and the others that  
survived could continue on.  
I walked out to see, most everyone...was gone...it was just a mass graveyard, with the smell of blood rising in the air. I looked around at the survivors...at least 600k left. But then we saw them. More back up. We were cornered, we were about to die, we accepted this fate. We all closed our eyes and huddled together for a group hug.  
When suddenly we heard it a loud whooping “YEEEEEEEHHAAAAAAW” from a helicopter before we heard gunshots ring out and the government heli crash with a loud explosion not too far off. It was a dudebro, and his other dudebros armed with guns. “Don’t worry dudes, we got this one”, Dudebro gave us a reassuring smile before taking off and shooting down more oncoming gov helis. We all looked at each other before letting out our war cries, we all banded together grabbed weapons we found and started shooting our enemies once more. From the distance while I took down people with my own bare fists I heard yells like, “HELL YEAH” “TAKE OVER THE GOVERNMENT!!!!”  
“EAT SHIT CAPITALIST SCUM”, and much more.  
After a while though, we started to all get overwhelmed, furries overheating in their fursuits, our units running out of monsters, the Karens becoming the managers they want to speak to, and more enemies were ganging up on us. Then we heard it-monster cans opening in the distance, horse hooves stomping the ground, and the smell of arson and horniness.  
The groups that we thought weren’t coming, just added back 1 mil+ to our raid. There they were, the monsterfuckers, homestucks, kinnies, and more coming to our aid, along with those that just arrived from where they were stuck at. Hell yeah! Now we’ll surely be able to beat these guys!  
September 21st  
We did it, we successfully raided Area 51, it took hours but we did it. We found where they kept the aliens and the weapons with the help of some of the surviving workers. They were free now, to either leave the planet, or stay with us, most surprisingly, stayed with us.  
October  
We spent most of our time burying our lost troops for the remainder of September and part of October, before cleaning up Area 51.  
After that we cleaned up and took control over the base, renaming it to Area 69. Some of the younger aliens asked what the significance of 69 was, while some of the teenaged and older ones giggled alongside us, others were flustered. We got Area 51 up and functioning again, and the media was all over what happened.  
November  
News finally settled down and everyone was chill about it now. I currently have 2 alien girlfriends, and we love each other dearly. Me and the other million survivors also have some sort of relationship with alien and many of us made civilization in the desert instead of going back home. Things are calm now. Though us Area 51 raiders now have another few raids on our minds, Missions: raid the White House and the concentration camps. We know that we’ll succeed with this especially with our awesome weapons and aliens on our side.  
The government and their leader can’t stop us if we possess their bodies.


End file.
